Friday, July 31, 2015

#17 - Letting

Letting go can be difficult.

I have these boxes in my room stacked taller than me. My goal is to get rid of most of the things in there and downsize and minimize.

I went through a couple of them tonight and found a lot to get rid of. 

And quite a bit to keep. 

There are classic toys, books I love (or used to love), concert stub tickets from 2001. I had to keep some of that stuff. 

They are memories. Some of them even have a direct connection to my grandma. One was a receipt of the last thing I bought with her. 

Yet they don't actually bring me any closer to my past or to anyone else. 

Letting go is hard. 

I was talking to a close friend this week about the nature of relationships.

And how as you get older, especially after college, those relationships tend to change. 

Sometimes a lot. 

They evolve. They take a different form. 

I resist this. I want things to be the same. I want to keep a strong connection. I want to hold on to the idea that our lives still have some strong commonality.

Letting go isn't easy. 

Somehow when I was younger, I came to see myself a certain way. We all do. We figure out what our identity is and then it sticks, like a plastic candy wrapper clinging to your shoe that you can't shake off. 

I've spent several years and have invested a lot of intention into shifting my paradigm, and altering the way I see myself. 

And yet I find myself saying, "Oh, I could never do that." 

"Who, me? Someone else would probably be better."

....Seriously? I'm really giving airtime to these thoughts? I know better than that. I no longer adhere to that mentality. 

Letting go takes time.  

I was thinking of other phrases that start with the same word.

Letting go.

Let it be. 

Let it show. We each have these amazing qualities and ideas and kindness inside of us, but we often hide them. 

We're embarrassed. We assume others' qualities are better.

But all we need to do is let them out. Let them show. 

Letting go, as has been mentioned, can be a challenge. 

But maybe it's the "letting" that's the hard part. 

It's such a passive word. It shouldn't require much action or thought. You're just "letting."

Allowing. Giving permission. 

Like the keepers of a canal or a bridge permit a ship to pass through. They don't have to pull or push or coerce the ship. They just have to allow it. 

It sounds so easy. 

But it's actually one of the most difficult things for us to do. Letting.

Maybe there's an opportunity here. 

Perhaps there's something that you have trouble "letting" in your life. 

What would happen if you gave up some control there? 

Shifted your expectation? 

Chose acceptance and patience?

As for me, I'm still working on it. I'm trying to be open to change. To allow relationships to connect and disconnect. To see myself in a new light. 

It may not be easy. But it might be for the best.