Your Turn Challenge: Day 4 - Crunched

Your Turn Challenge - Day #4

I spend A LOT of money at Chipotle.

And it's increasing. It's getting out of hand, and I'm worried about what this will mean for 2015.

Ok, let me take a step back for a second.

First of all, this is my 4th post in 4 days. Pat on the back for me.

Now the Your Turn prompt for today is: "Teach us something that you do well."

Well, I do so many things well, it's hard to choose. The way I'm using this blog, teaching you how to sing, play guitar, perform correct squats or take amazing selfies would be challenging.

Those will have to wait until another day.

There IS one obscure talent that I possess, one that I would be willing to share with you. And that superpower is....data analysis.

I love number crunching. Spreadsheets and charts. Especially related to personal finance. I can track spending habits and alter my budgets like no tomorrow.

I actually do this for fun, just because I'm a curious cat named Whiskers. At times I can become quite obsessive about it.

Very few people know this about me...until now.

To give you a glimpse into this deep dark secret of mine, and to reveal the magic that will make your financial life significantly less abysmal, I decided to jump onto Mint.com to get some of my personal data and show you how it's done.

And that's when I found out I have a Chipotle problem.

(.......OK. I give up. I've been sitting at my keyboard motionless for over a minute trying to think of some burrito-related pun, but nothing's appearing. The best I can do is to say that my brain is not BEAN very cooperative...)

Mint.com is a website that's owned by Intuit, the same company that produces Quicken, Quickbooks, and TurboTax. 

Since I signed on in 2010, the site has had secure access (as secure as a secure website online can be anyway) to my financial accounts online and is updated automatically. It has all my non-cash spending data since Oct. 2010.

Because of this, I know how much I've spent on travel, how much I've spent on my car, you name it.

I can also separate the transaction by place.

With this, I can answer: 

How often do I go to Best Buy?

When was the last time I went to Rocks & Ropes?

What's my average spending at Target? (Answer: WAY more than I planned to spend when I walked in. $87??! I wanted 1 toothbrush!)

Hmm...places. Well, what about Chipotle? I've been wondering how much I spend there.

When I sign in tonight, I click on Transactions, and then search for all of Chipotle. This is what I find:

Notice on the left all the accounts I have linked to it. That's a LOT to keep track of, but it's SUPER easy with this site. I don't have to keep signing into a dozen different websites and remember all the passwords.

Well, I like to play with the numbers, so I need to export them to Excel or another spreadsheet program.

I click on the "Export all 92 transactions," like so:

And voila! All the data from 4 years of eating at Chipotle on one sheet.

Now I get to manipulate it how I want.




Well what do I want to know?

First, how much I've spent per year. I'm curious.

I add new rows where the years end and begin, then do an Auto-sum.

I start with 2010. $24 total. For the whole year. Ha, I had yet to be enlightened.

2011. $71. Not too bad.

2012. Now it must be noted that this is the year I met my best friend, who's a Chipotle fanatic. However, I met him mid-November, not giving much time to affect the totals. In the end I bought enough burritos and tacos to fork over $131.50.

2013. Turns out I spent $304.51 at Chipotle. I had officially become an addict.

2014. My zeal had not waned. I ended this most recent year shelling out $365. 

That's right - exactly one dollar per day.

All in all, I've spent $906 since Oct. 2010. However, I've paid cash or with gift cards. So it's probably closer to $1,000. 

I wanted to see what that looked like as a graph, and here's an example:

 
Now what's my future look like?
From 2012 to 2013 there was a year over year increase of 130%! Then last year that slowed to just 20%. Still, if this year holds the same 20% increase as last year, I will spend $438 in 2015. 

I think I should take some of that money and buy some shares.

Well, there you have it. This is just one example of how I examine by spending habits and trends. 

To be honest, I'm not too worried about my spending at Chipotle. It's great food, and it's pretty good quality, so I'm willing to pay for it. 

For those judging my spending habits, I have my justifications. Unfortunately, if somebody wanted to go into a debate, most people couldn't compare my numbers to theirs because they don't have accurate numbers. Most people don't track their spending. 

It can be a pain, and you might be numbers-averse. But it's pretty dang important, so I challenge you to look into some personal spending apps like Mint.com that make it really easy. (It's free by the way). 

If you start spending a little bit of time, month by month, you can build a history that will become really useful to you. 

I'll tell you what. Start doing this, make it a habit and I'll take you out to lunch. (the first 3 people who take me up on it. 

Then we can sit down and really TACO 'bout it. 

:-D

#yourturn #yourturnchallenge #day4 

Your Turn Challenge: Day 3 - Poorly Worded

Your Turn Challenge: Day 3


I try to be careful with my words.

As a teacher, what I say to each student has great power. In fact, this year our staff read a book called "Choice Words." We spew out thousands of words each day to sometimes more than 100 students - and yet later on we'll pick apart that one word we used. Brutal, but necessary. Each word is powerful.

I'm also cautious with the words I say about myself. My best friend has kept me accountable with this, and recently commented that he's noticed a difference in my language.

For example, now I rarely say "I can't."

I can't go to your party. Or even, I'm not able to go.

I have to decline your invitation.

The truth is, I can go. I am perfectly able to attend. I'm just choosing not to.

It sounds harsh! But it's the truth.

Sometimes I'll say "I won't be going."
"I won't be making it this time."

That's an objective statement. It's just a fact.

It's a small difference, but to me it's important.

"I can't" - gives up our power. It moves the center of control to some outside force. It makes us appear helpless. The victims.

That's why I'm tempted to say it - I want the other person to believe I would go! But it's not up to me. Something else is keeping me from going. It's not my fault.

But that's not accurate. It's a facade. Because the truth, most of the time, is that I can. I do have the power.

That's why it takes courage to say the truth.

I can go, but I'm making a choice. I'm deciding to do something else.

Blame me if you choose to. Be mad at me. I won't like it, but I'll accept the consequences of my choices.

It's very grown up, isn't it?

I could also point out the word "should." I've been cringing at this one lately.

You should do you homework. You shouldn't spend so much money on shoes. I should have known better.

Really? Who the hell says so?

It kind of pisses me off. I think it should piss you off, too.

Ha! I just did it.

Who am I to tell you what you ought to do?

I mean, even if you WANTED me to tell you what to do, do you know what I would say?

Sorry, I can't. :-/


PS. What words or phrases do YOU pay attention to? What language do you want to eliminate from your (or others') vocabulary?


#YourTurn #YourTurnChallenge #Day3

Your Turn Challenge: Day 2 - Exposed

Your Turn Challenge: Day 2

Prompt: What is something that's important to me? 

Honesty. Vulnerability. 

Today I read a blog post by author Donald Miller titled "People Who Hide Parts of Themselves Will Never Feel Loved." 

Never feel loved? That's kind of extreme. For some people, terrifying.

There's even the hashtag, #foreveralone, that sums up this sentiment. Afraid to be alone, to never feel loved.

But what's probably worse is to be with someone and still not feel loved. To be loved, but still not feel loved.

In the short post, I found what's becoming a familiar message. Miller writes, "What suffers when we fail to let ourselves be known is our emotional health. Being accepted as we are by others, without conditions, is the stuff that feeds our souls."


Let ourselves be known. Be accepted unconditionally.

Coincidentally, I just bought Brené Brown's "The Gifts of Imperfection" as an audiobook and have been listening to it using the Audible.com app. If you haven't seen her TED Talk on "The Power of Vulnerability," it's a must-watch.  There's also a follow up called "Listening to Shame." 
In the latter video, Brown emphatically states, "Vulnerability is not weakness - and that myth is profoundly dangerous."

I'm seeing this message more and more. And the times I've had the courage to experience it myself, I know it to be true. Honesty, authenticity, there's nothing like it to bring connection between people.

Writing on this blog is horribly vulnerable for me. And I'll also, while I'm on the topic, admit that how I'm feeling about my blogging is directly correlated with how many likes or comments I get. Similarly, when I post things on Facebook or Instagram, I feel an exhilarating sense of approval and acceptance. It boosts my mood, it encourages me to keep posting, if only to keep the people happy. 

I don't like this fact. I often deny it to myself. But it's true. I like likes.

Conversely, in the absence of likes or virtual attention, I get discouraged. Like the last 2 days when I posted about this challenge and very few people paid attention to it. I figured there was some mistake. I was frustrated. Doesn't anyone care?!?

Bleck - this is starting to feel like a pity party. 

I like some parties, but not that kind. Maybe a pita party. Mmm, with some hummus? And fresh veggies. Hey, I think I'm onto something. (Note: pita party > pity party).  

The thing is, I guess I don't really know the line between being open and oversharing. Between being honest about how I feel and throwing a pity party. Between admitting my weaknesses or needs and fishing for compliments.

This whole thing is messy. 

I would much rather show my "strong" side to people, and not bother them with my rough edges. 
I'd rather not share at all than risk oversharing. 

But I know that won't lead to true happiness or acceptance. 

Vulnerability is scary. It leaves us exposed, like we're falling through the air on a skydive. 

It's exhilarating. It's freeing. It can be addicting. 

Ultimately, I believe that once you get used to being vulnerable, there's no going back. 

#day2
#yourturn

Your Turn Challenge: Day 1 - Uprooted

Your Turn Challenge: Day 1. 

I'm blogging every day this week as a part of a challenge by author, marketer and thinker Seth Godin. The challenge is being led by Seth's colleague Winnie, and it coincides with his book Your Turn.

The suggested prompt for today is: Why are you doing the challenge?

Because I want to. Because I need to. Need to face my doubt, fears?, anxiety, and indecision over what to post and why and for whom. 

Well, enough about that. I came here to write, not to think about writing about why I'm writing. 

I love to write. I also like photography, and just bought a new camera. I went to Yosemite over New Year's with this new camera (a Canon Rebel SL1), and I had a complete blast out there meandering about and click. Click. Click. I never got very far on any hike because I would walk a few steps, then see something else I wanted to shoot, and pause my journey.  

I could share an album of a hundred or more of these photos. I really want to - some of them are, in my opinion, amazing shots. Later on I might, but right now I just want to post this one. This fallen, beautifully broken tree.

I think one image can be more powerful than 1,000 when it stands alone. If you can take the time to sit with it. Stare at it. Let it stare at you. 

When I go on Facebook, or look through slideshows, it's usually like that. I probably spend less than a second looking at any given picture before swiping or clicking to the next. Which is only fitting, because most pictures are taken in quick bursts of 3, 5, or 10. I have so many albums of thousands of pictures that I took, and when I looked at them, it was a chore. I had to speed through them. Take more pictures. Swipe through more pictures. 

What happens if every vacation or birthday party or hike you could only take one picture? What happens if you could only show one that you took? Which one would you show?
What if it were 10 pictures? I think I would be much more thoughtful about my selection. It would probably be easy to pass on most opportunities. Naw, this shot's not worth it. 

My point is that there's so much going on all the time, that it feels weird to sit with one thing for too long. Even when it's not a picture, but a person. It can feel unsettling to be still and present, just talking. Or even be with him or her silently. No phones or TV usually. Just conversation. It takes some getting used to.

So whether you have a person across from you, or some photograph, try focusing on that one thing. Be still. Take your time. Enjoy the scenery on the trail. 

I would have missed this uprooted, craggly, yet majestic tree if I had been more set on reaching the destination, wherever that was. I'm not sure if anyone else noticed or appreciated it, but I did.  

What I'm starting to learn in life is that there's nothing around that bend in the trail - everything you need is right in front of you. 


#yourturn #yourturnchallenge #day1 

Anthony vs. Mountain Lion

My poor Mac is dying.

I bought it in early 2008, which puts it at about 200 years old in computer years.

As I was cleaning out and organizing my files to be transferred over, I found a document from last year titled "Anthony vs Mountain Lion." I totally forgot I made it. It's the recorded history of my epic quest to update my almost-obsolete computing machine.

In July 2012, the Mountain Lion operating system was released. It took me 8 months to get it installed on my computer. 8 months. Sometimes I wonder why I don't get more things done - but this has to be why. Two-thirds of a year to check off one task.

Once it was finished, I was in such disbelief at the ridiculousness of the process that I had to write it down.

This is that story.

I don't think I've ever shared it with anyone. I'll warn you that it's long, and quite tedious. But perhaps you can relate to your own technological experience that made you lose a few hairs and break down in tears. Haven't we all had one of these?

How to Install Mountain Lion, in 42 easy steps

1. Excitedly check Apple site every day for release of Apple’s newest OS X: Mountain Lion. 
2. On the day it’s released, try to download it. 
3. Find out that you can’t download it because you have such an old, ancient version of OS X.
4. Drive all the way to Apple Store to buy any newer version; they are no longer available. Everything has gone digital.
5. After exploring different options, call friend Robert who used to work at Apple. Robert has the files you need and agrees to give them to you.
6. On Thanksgiving, as you are driving to Phoenix, Robert is driving the opposite direction to Tucson. As you talk to him on the phone, you probably pass each other on the freeway. Wait for another opportunity to exchange files. 
7. The next day, on Black Friday, go to mall and buy 16G USB drive on sale that you will use to load files. 
8. Leave mall to go meet Robert at his house, but then realize you need your things from your brother’s apartment. Return to mall to get brother’s key, go to brother’s apartment, pack up stuff, return to mall again and repark (on Black Friday) and sprint in to return key, sprint back to car, then finally get on freeway to Robert’s house.
9. 5 minutes from destination, get call from Robert that he is leaving his house. It would take too long anyway. He is going to a cocktail bar 30 minutes away and invites you to join. Decide what the heck and keep driving to the bar.
10. Meet Robert and give him the flash drive. Meet his friends. Take a picture with his friends and post to Instagram and Facebook.
11. Get into Facebook chat with Robert’s friends from Spain after they comment on posted picture.
12. Imagine going to Spain because that would be a pretty cool way to spend New Year’s.
13. Two days later as you leave town, get flash drive with Mountain Lion files back from Robert. Decorate Christmas tree with his mom and family.
14. Try to ignore the growing thought about going to Spain because it’s crazy.
15. Before installing Mountain Lion back at home, decide that you need to back up your computer first. Try to save money and don’t buy a new hard drive, but use the hard drives you already have or ask friends if they know of any cheaper options. Even though a new hard drive only costs $80-$120, allow this to effectively stall your efforts and wish for something cheap or free to magically fall into your lap.
16.  Officially distracted from your original goal, which has not been achieved because you don’t want to spend $100, buy a more-than $1,000 plane ticket to Spain. Fail to see the irony in this.
17. Enjoy your trip to Spain. Wonder how you ever could have doubted that it was a good idea to go.
18. After returning to reality, wait a few more months trying to avoid spending money on a hard drive, because you are recovering from your travel expenses.
19. Sit down one day and actually look-up how much memory you have in hard drives. Write those numbers down. Then look up and write down how much memory you need. Comparing the two numbers side by side, understand clearly that you don’t have enough and just need to buy a new hard drive.
20. Research for 2 days – find a great deal, spending half what you expected in order to get twice as much as you wanted. Tell yourself that the wait was worth it. Keep telling yourself that.
21. Set up external hard drive. Back up all your files, which takes about 6 hours.
22. Try to download Snow Leopard. Message says you need to burn it to a DVD.
23. Get a DVD, only to realize the file is too big. You need what’s called a Dual Layer DVD.
24. Go to store and buy pack of Dual Layer DVDs.
25. Try to burn onto Layer DVD. Message says laser can’t read it.
26. Look up message text and read that the laser can’t write to the disc because of dust. Site says get a compressed air can to blow out dust.
27. Buy a can of compressed air. Blow the smithereens out of the DVD drive.
28. Try to burn Dual Layer DVD again. Give up hope on it after third try.
29. Try out on brother’s computer. Drive to mom’s house and use her computer. Try step-dad’s computer. Realize your flash drive is formatted to a Mac and so those won’t work. Ask around for a newer Mac. Call friends and family. Run into all dead ends. Wonder why you have it so rough.
30. Go to University to use their Mac lab. Get asked for current university username and password. Text 4 friends desperately asking them if you can use their username and password. Get turned down, because who would give out their personal password. Leave university exasperated.
31. Through online research, tech support calls, and arguments with friends, learn about something called a “bootable drive” which means you can run the software from your flash drive. Try not to think about the Dual Layer DVDs and can of compressed air that you never actually needed.
32. Use the interwebs to find 2 different websites on how to install Snow Leopard with a bootable drive. Follow 20-step detailed procedure on each site.  Hit roadblock after roadblock. Keep trying. Cry into keyboard. Actually make some headway. Wait 10-20 minutes for each successful step to load. Consider abandoning technology and society to live in a monastery. Decide that the food probably isn’t that good and keep going.
33. Finally, for all that is great and holy, watch Snow Leopard start to install. Disbelieve it. Wait 40 minutes while it loads, frequently jumping up clicking heels together in giddiness.
34. Become super excited that you now have Snow Leopard successful installed – effectively bringing you up to date to 2009. Acknowledge how ridiculous this is. Remain excited nonetheless.
35. Try to install Mountain Lion. Finally.
36. Read message that says you first need to install all of Snow Leopard’s updates. Breathe deeply.
37. Install updates, which takes about an hour. While waiting, watch Justin Timberlake host SNL on Hulu.
38. THEN try to install Mountain Lion.
39. Holy mother of Napoleon, it’s actually installing. This takes about 45 minutes.
40. As the computer turns back on, fix your hair and tidy up your desk as if you are about to Skype with the prime minister of Micronesia. As you get transported to 2012, wonder if there will be flying cars there.
41. Play around with Mountain Lion and savor the fact that you actually, finally have it installed. You have reached the Promised Land. Which is really not that exciting, but dammit you worked hard to get here.
42. Reflect on how long and ridiculous the journey was to get Mountain Lion installed. Write a humorous blog post about it.

"Sometimes": Wisdom from a 17-year-old me

Sometimes. 

It's a powerful word.

I just came across a class journal of mine from high school, and I wanted to share one of its entries here. It doesn't have a date on it, but it was written some time between Jan. 23 and Feb. 15, 2003. My senior year.

I was a 17-year-old starting my last semester of high school. I was waiting to hear back from colleges, wondering where I would end up, what I would do. My "whole life" was ahead of me, and yet I had enough experiences and years to reflect on where I had come from. I was in this middle place, about to jump - looking forward and back. Wondering and waiting.

I hope you connect to at least one of the lines in here. If you do, please share what it means to you.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this poem. It was untitled, but I call it "Sometimes."

--------------------------------------------------------

• Sometimes life throws you a curve ball.
• Sometimes you're not prepared.
• Sometimes you pretend to be surprised by something, but you were really asking for it all along.
• Sometimes you have to screw up to learn a valuable lesson, and if you've really learned it, you won't go near it again.
• Sometimes you're excited by the future, but you desperately want time to stop because you have no idea what you're going to do.
• Sometimes it takes a long time to figure out who you are, and as soon as you do, you're afraid you've become something you don't want to be.
• Sometimes simple is best.
• Sometimes your best friend is the person who can look at you and, if nothing else, at least understands you.
• Sometimes being understood is what you're really after, and just that fact makes a lot of nonsense go away.
• Sometimes planning is nothing, 'cause doing gets it done.
• Sometimes what you don't have in your dreams and goals looks a lot different when you stop and look at what you've accomplished now.
• Sometimes you wonder if you would be an entirely different person if you changed just a few aspects about yourself.
• Sometimes people just don't care.
• Sometimes you have to care anyways.
• Sometimes the one thing that keeps you going is knowing that people have great expectations for you.
• Sometimes you don't believe you're great until someone tells you you are - someone you trust who can tell you why.
• Sometimes your eyes can say everything you need to.
• Sometimes where you are determines who you'll be.
• Sometimes important memories are forgotten, making you lose a part of yourself.
• Sometimes the least you owe someone is a smile.
• Sometimes love can't be understood.
• Sometimes peace is possible.
• Sometimes you have to be proud of who you are, just because.
• Sometimes you have to risk being stupid, failing, because no one ever did a great thing without letting himself [or herself] go.

-----------------------
There it is. 
Which one was your favorite? Which one did you disagree with? I'd love to hear about it below. 

One Saturday Morning

Death is a strange thing. Processing death is weird. For one, it means you're alive and someone went before you. For some things in life, order doesn't matter. In this case, it kind of does. 

Some people process death with tears, others with laughter. Some with memories, some with action. Sometimes we look at pictures, other times we listen to stories. In fact, we all do these things, and everyone is on their own timeline, processing in their own way. I guess that means I am too.

Exactly 3 months ago I woke up on a Saturday morning. It was 3 weeks after we had laid my Grandma Avila to rest, and maybe I was thinking of that, and knowing that I still had a grandma living. Maybe it was a random thought, maybe it was divine inspiration, maybe God was giving me a gift.

When I woke up that morning, I had one strong thought, and that was: Call Grandma and take her to breakfast. I usually wake up groggy and scattered and cranky. But on certain days I open my eyes and I'm wide awake, I'm rested, and my thoughts are clear and crisp. And this was a very direct and loud message reverberating in my head - Call Grandma. Go to breakfast.

And I did. I was still in bed. I sat up and reached for my phone, and called. She was, I feel like, waiting for me to call. She was home, she had no plans. I suppose that it was supposed to happen.

I picked her up and we couldn't decide where to go, and I think it was Yelp who helped, but we eventually decided on Millie's Pancake House. She had been there before, but I hadn't.

It was just me and Grandma. Nothing else mattered in that moment. We talked. I told her stories, some I had already told her before. I just enjoyed every moment with her, I truly did.

Someone should learn to spell (from www.menuism.com)

I ate a huge meal, a huge plate of food, and she was proud I'm sure. She had potato pancakes and probably some tea. The ladies next to us took a picture when I asked, and commented how much they enjoyed hearing us talk and watching us together. I hadn't noticed, but they had been watching us. Just a few more people blessed by being around her.

Time stood still that morning. I knew it was special. I didn't know why, or when, but I knew I would remember that day.

We took our time, and usually I start getting antsy, in a rush, but this morning I wasn't. I wanted to extend our morning. We walked over to an art gallery nearby. We both commented on which ones we liked. She pointed out her friend Gretchen's paintings and told me she had a copy of one and pointed to a hummingbird. Every single one had a hummingbird, she said.

I took more pictures of her. I made her put her hand on her hip and pose.  We picked out a gift for my boss and family friend Charlene, whose birthday was coming up, and I told Grandma it would be from both of us. When we checked out, the credit card took forever to write down, there had to be a phone call to get authorized, it took a really long time. And I wasn't impatient one bit. I was happy to be with Grandma.

(I'm not always so patient with time. But this time I was, and I'm happy I was. I've been thinking that I want to be more patient. Less rushed. Enjoy just spending time with people more. It's a skill you have to practice, I think.)

Grandma standing in front of her friend Gretchen's paintings.



"Put your hand on your hip, Grandma," I said. She tries to pose seriously.

She cracks and ends up laughing of course.

We left and I took her home, and I even spent a few more minutes with her there. And then slowly, reluctantly, I said goodbye. It would be the last time I saw her like that.

Now this morning, Saturday morning, I woke up, rested. I had been dreaming of her. Thinking of her. It feels the same this morning. I'd love to call her and take her to breakfast, and for time to stand still again. But I can't. I truly miss her. Sad that I can't call her and take her to Millie's. And while sad, I'm still so grateful she was and is such a huge part of my life.

Tomorrow morning my brothers and I are taking my Grandpa to breakfast. I got to see him this last week, and we made plans to see each other this weekend. The 4 grandsons and Grandpa. He's our last living grandparent.

So life goes on. We miss the ones we've lost but we treasure the fleeting moments we can have with those who remain.

I bet there's someone you're thinking of right now.

If so, go ahead, pick up the phone and call. Make a plan and pick a date in the near future, if not today.

Book that plane ticket to visit that someone. Not because you'll regret it if you don't. Or out of guilt. But because you can. Because you're alive, and so are they, and really, that's all we know and all we've got.

So make the call.

And pray that while you're with that special loved one, you too can make time stand still.