Friday, January 23, 2015

Your Turn Challenge: Day 5 - Confronted

Your Turn Challenge: Day 5

Today I needed to confront someone.

They said something and used words that I found offensive. I felt like they crossed the line. (I'm using "they" as a gender-neutral, singular pronoun on purpose. I realize it breaks grammar rules. Sorry, editor friends. I feel your pain, too).

The thing is, I didn't confront them at first. Not in the moment. That would have been uncomfortable, but also, perhaps, rash and unwise.

Even after, there wasn't a good time to do it.

Later on, I saw them and wanted to say something, but there were other people there. I wanted to talk in private.

I hovered.

I walked around.

I walked away.

I felt like a coward, believing I had a moral obligation to say something, knowing I had the opportunity, but not bringing myself to say it.

It seemed like it needed to have some anger behind it. If I was really offended, I should be willing to make a scene.

After some time, I ended up walking back and stating, calmly, that I wanted to talk later about what happened. I said this in front of other people.

I didn't call them out or make a scene, and this felt weak. It felt like I had taken the easy way out.

Later on we had a great conversation, as I knew we would. It was respectful, yet honest and direct.

It was a very anti-climactic exchange.

I felt disappointed that it took me so long to say something in the first place.

I felt a little disappointed that it wasn't more difficult and uncomfortable and tense when I did.

But maybe it didn't have to be dramatic.

Maybe my biggest confrontation was with my own fears, and what I thought would be a confrontation just needed to be a conversation.

Maybe feeling that a certain way is weak doesn't mean it truly is.

#yourturnchallenge #yourturn #day5

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